when my friends ask me why you're like that ,
i don't know how to answer them .
i doubt you even bother about me .
as a child , i always wanted a complete family .
happy , fun , loving .
i once said i wanted to grow up , earn lots of money , buy a big house and let you and daddy live in it .
i guess i can't do that anymore .
remember when you were normal ?
our family would go to west coast park , fly kites , have snacks , and just have fun as a whole family .
why did you do that ?
you said you loved me , you bought teddy bears and dolls and candies for me regularly .
you took me out to eat at posh restaurants .
then when i turned eight ,
i was given the worst present of my life .
i saw you crying in the computer room , with daddy about to start weeping too .
you were clutching your handphone and saying,"i'm sorry."
daddy saw me and just told me to go to bed .
and just forget about everything .
a few days later , when you were at work , and daddy hadn't left for night shift ,
daddy told me about you .
and that you and him were getting a divorce .
my world just crumbled .
no amount of meiji chocolates and stuffed pigs could ever make it right again .
daddy and i just hugged and cried in the hall .
why did you have to do that ?
did you know , you were my hero ?
i idolised you , spoke good about you , thought you were perfect .
but i just didn't see that big flaw you had .
that part that made you so imperfect .
that flaw ate away at you for 4 years .
4 years later , when i'm 12 , like now , daddy and you separated .
during that 4 years , you turned from my hero to just another stranger .
i hardly knew or recognized you anymore .
why ?
maybe it was daddy's fault for not giving you the freedom you wanted ?
maybe it wasn't your fault for loving another man ?
maybe , it was my fault ,
for not being perfect ,
like you .
