The first time Valerie got a glimpse of her friend's true nutjob-ness was during the Pokemon talk.

It had started off pretty normal as blue-skies-fluffy-clouds, with Valerie talking about her tendency to choose fire Pokemon even though she actually likes water better but she's more acquainted with fire and so. Sharon had nodded and actually dared to say that she had never heard of the penguin-looking Pokemon Valerie adored so much.

Valerie nearly had a heart attack.

Then, Sharon blurts out one of the most ridiculous sentences Valerie has ever heard in her whole 14-years of life.

"I like Pikachu because it's yellow."

**

The second time Sharon displayed her tendency to blurt the weirdest things was during one of their late-night MSN calls.

Valerie was getting high at lack of sleep because they were up at ass o'clock in the morning (She couldn't remember. Was it 3am?) and she's typing in the dark and what the fuck.

So naturally, she started singing Livin' la Vida Loca.

After a while of silent appreciation from Sharon, the taller girl asked incredulously, "Hippo dance?"

"What hippo dance?"

"You said hippo dance."

"I didn't! You need a hearing aid."

"I don't! Urgh. But you seriously said hippo dance!"

"..."

"How do you do a hippo dance anyway?"

"Whut?"

"Like you just stick out your stomach and go boing?"

"Wha-"

"Boing. Boing boing boiiiiingggg."

If Valerie had been fully awake and not stoned like how she was that morning, she would have started believing that purple carnivorous elephants exist because really, that's how screwed her chickadee's imagination is. And birds of a feather flock together but Valerie isn't even going to go there.

So she tweets it. Naturally. Because that's what friends are for. To document your worst moments online.

**

The latest installment in the Sharon saga was her demands of a watermelon memorial. Valerie didn't even know watermelons needed memorials, especially not 6kg ones that gave her friend bruises when she carried it home. But she humours her nutjob of a friend anyway, even though she has absolutely no fucking idea of what a memorial is supposed to look like.

She makes a note to broaden her horizons and Google watermelon memorials.

**

After talking about the famous 6kg watermelon for a while (which Valerie had affectionately named "Walty") Sharon decides to talk about kids.

Valerie splutters for a while and clears her throat and prepares a mental speech about how it's not the right time honey, let's give it some thought and I never knew you felt that way.

Then it hits her that her crazy chica was talking about the watermelon's offspring. Oh. Oh. Of course. Watermelons have offspring. Everyone knows that.

And Sharon actually moves on to biology topics about the human digestive system and Valerie muses about the watermelon's seeds being fertilised by the aftermath of Sharon's digestive system in the toilet and starts imagining about a watermelon plant in the toilet bowl.

It all makes perfect sense.

So Valerie tells Sharon about her crazy idea and Sharon is intrigued.

Then she demands for a watermelon memorial anyway.

That ingrate.